Brooke Boersma
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Lent is About Love

2/14/2018

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Twitter, chocolate, sugar…it seems as though everyone is giving something up for Lent.
 
I love that this year Valentine’s Day and the beginning of the Lenten season fall on the same day. (The people that decided to give up chocolate, probably not so much!)
 
Did you know that Lent means so much more than just giving up Facebook? It is meant to be time of reflection. It begins with Ash Wednesday, where in many traditions people attend a worship service in which ashes are placed on their foreheads in the sign of a cross as the priest or minister repeats, “From dust you have come, and to dust you will return” (from Genesis 3:19, NIV). It is a solemn occasion, a reminder to each of us that life on this earth is fleeting, that we all must face death one day. This is an uncomfortable thought, one most of us would rather avoid, but sitting with it for a while, pondering the weight of those words, allows us to truly take stock of our lives and what we believe will happen when we take our last breath.
 
On this Ash Wednesday, social media is all abuzz with talk of what everyone is giving up. Fasting from “vices,” of course, can all be really good things for our bodies and our minds. But, we miss the point if we just do it to better ourselves–to look better or feel better or have a less cluttered mind. Lent is much bigger than that.
 
Because Lent is about love. Not candy hearts and flowers, but real, lasting, sacrificial love.
 
Lent is about focusing on Jesus’ own temptation and perfect ability to deny Himself and exert self-control in every way.
 
Lent is about reflecting on the reason for Ash Wednesday. Because we are beings who were given free will, and out of that freedom chose to bring sin and evil into the world. We are not perfect, we are a sin-filled, sinful people. This is another incredibly uncomfortable fact to ponder and to digest. It’s ugly, but it is the absolute truth that we must wrestle with. Our sin means that each one of us must face death. “For the wages of sin is death…” (from Romans 6:23, NIV).
 
None of this sounds like love, does it?
 
Except that Lent is also about contemplating Jesus’ sacrifice. We as a people are sinful, fallen, broken. We all like to think that we are generally good people, but the stark truth is that we deserve separation from God. We cannot cross the bridge over to His perfection, His paradise, on our own. Jesus, fully God and fully Man is perfect–the only One who can make a way for us. “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (from John 14:6, NIV). The Hebrew people had to offer sacrifices over and over to atone for their sin in order to have a way to God…Jesus offered Himself as the Ultimate Sacrifice and made the way for all who believe.
 
God loved us so much that He sent His only Son with the intention that He would die for us (John 3:16). Jesus “became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood” (John 1:14, MSG) knowing He would suffer and die. He laid down His life for His friends. He no longer calls those who love Him sinners, but saints. We are guilty, but He gives us grace. And He rose victorious from the grave, conquering sin and death for us. Death has lost its sting. “For the wages of sin is death,” but the rest of the story is this, “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV).
 
Because Lent is about love.
 
This year for Lent, when we give something up, let’s do it to remind us of the much greater sacrifice that was made for us.
 
This year, maybe we give of ourselves for Lent by sacrificing something in order donate to someone in need. Maybe this year we can give of our time to show someone they matter, offer to serve somewhere that needs a volunteer, take our time to sit with someone who is lonely. This year, let’s make Lent have a lasting impact not just on our bodies, but on our souls, and for eternity. And let’s ponder the great, great love Jesus has for us.
 
Because Lent is about love.
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Being Still is Hard

1/13/2017

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​Wake up, stretch, drink water, drink coffee, scroll social media while brain begins to function, turn to devotional and Bible, kids are awake and now I can’t concentrate because jabber mouths start the day at 100 miles per hour. Feel mad at kids. Feel guilty for not doing quiet time. Repeat. Every. Single. Day.
 
Can you relate?
 
I just wrote a devotional on being still, for crying out loud, you’d think I’d have it figured out. Nope, I still struggle. During the day is a race to get as much work and errands as possible and workout done while kids are at school. After school is snack, homework, snack, break up a fight, cook dinner, do more laundry, clean up dinner, bathe children, snack, reading time, bed-time. (Why do they always want to eat???) And then my brain is just done. Finished. No more capacity for deeper thought.
 
Because of the before-mentioned devotional, I started feeling even more guilty with my struggle. The desire to spend focused time with the Lord and in study is there, but it just doesn’t always work out.
 
And you know what? It’s okay sometimes.
 
Jesus doesn’t want to be an item on my to-do list. He wants to be my everything. And when kids interrupt a concentrated Bible study time, I can be irritated and simultaneously feel guilty about not checking that “Bible Study” item off my list, or I can take that time to snuggle my children, pray over them in my heart, and be with Jesus in a different way.
 
I saw my friend and beloved hairstylist yesterday. (A good hair stylist becomes extremely beloved after 40, by the way. She makes my day when she fibs and tells me she only sees three gray hairs.) Meghan is a young mom, busy like all of us, and wanting to be a good steward of her life and her time. As we were chatting about this struggle, her wise words were, “I am learning that being still looks different at different stages of life. Right now, being still might mean sitting on the couch with a little one in my lap while I read.”
 
This reminded me of something a dear pastor for whom I worked told me when Caleb was a baby. Rev. Harold is a man of God, and when I lamented to him that between working full-time in ministry and caring for our little one, my lengthy quiet times had vanished. He said, “Brooke, at this time in your life, your time with Jesus might just be in the middle of the night rocking and nursing your baby, and that’s okay.” He has a saying, “grace stacked upon grace,” and grace is exactly what he extended to me that day. I remember feeling a weight lifting off my shoulders, taking a sigh of relief, and then the release of living life in God’s grace rather than my idea of what “should” be.
 
Grace. Grace to understand that a relationship with Jesus is more than an official, “I read my Bible today.” It is a fluid, beautiful thing with the ebbs and flows that every season of life brings.
 
It is an ongoing conversation as we are working and cleaning and parenting and grand-parenting. It is the walk I took to clear my head today before I edited another lesson plan for my job. (Where I get to READ THE BIBLE, by the way. Duh. That just hit me.) That walk in the sunshine with worship music on was an amazing time to talk and connect with Jesus. The conversation with Meghan yesterday was a prayer. The verse I looked up to write on Caleb’s board as an encouragement -  grace makes that a time of study and sharing. And the mornings where my sweetie pies all sleep a little more will be all the sweeter because I will be able to dig in to the Word out of sheer joy, not guilt.
 
The Bible is where we hear the truth from the Lord, and it is important and so good for us to be studying it. But the Jesus who said, “My burden is easy and my yolk is light,” does not want us to be bound by the weight of guilt when the very gifts He has given us in this life (children, parents, career) press in.
 
 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
 – Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30, The Message
 
May you find your time and place to be still today. And may it be filled with grace stacked upon grace.
 
 
 
When do you study the Bible? When and where and how do you pray? Who has extended grace to you or given you a piece of wisdom on your faith journey? Post it on Facebook with #howiamstill so we all can learn from you!
 
 
 
 
 
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Reformation Day Devotional

11/1/2016

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I really wanted to do this with our kids yesterday, but it was just a little too crazy. I think the promise of sugary treats was too exciting for their brains to register any deep theological truths.
 
Tonight at the dinner table, we are going to do this little devotional and I thought I’d make it available for your family, too! This is geared toward younger children, you can engage your older children by having them read the Scripture passages, watch the videos suggested below, and asking them more in depth questions about what “doing the right thing” would look like in their lives. You can also do more in in depth study with them on topics such as “Sola Scriptura”, John Calvin, Martin Luther’s work translating the Latin Bible into German for the common people, and his controversial stance on Jews.
 
Materials needed:
An online picture of Martin Luther nailing the 95 theses on the wall
A coloring picture (print from the internet) of Martin Luther
If you’re feeling really creative, paper, nails, hammer and a board. Have a paper and nail for each person, with each paper saying “I Will….”
Crayons or markers
 
HOOK
Ask: What did we celebrate yesterday? (Halloween) What do people do on Halloween? (Dress up, decorate, knock on doors and say, “Trick or Treat,” and eat lots of candy.)
 
Say: I know about someone who lived over 500 years ago who banged on a door on October 31, too. His name was Martin Luther. (Not to be confused with Martin Luther King, Jr. who was also awesome, but not a part of this story.) Show the picture of Martin Luther.
 
He wasn’t trick or treating, though. He was nailing a very important paper to the door of the church building in his town. And instead of getting candy, he got into a lot of trouble. Here is his story:
 
BOOK
As a young man, Martin became a lawyer to please his father. One day, he was caught in a storm and almost struck by lightning. He promised God then and there that if he made it out of the storm alive, he would serve God instead. After the storm, Martin became a monk. A monk is a special priest or pastor who lives in a place with other monks. They work, pray, help people, and spend their whole lives serving God.
 
Hardly any regular people had a Bible, or were able to read God’s word. But because Martin was a monk, he studied the Bible a lot. He loved God’s word. As he studied, he saw more and more how the Bible was supposed to be read and understood by everyone, not just the priests or pastors. He also began to see that the leaders in the church were not obeying God.
 
The church leaders were making bad choices. They were selling indulgences. “Indulgences” is a big word to say they were having people pay money to have their sins forgiven. The leaders in the church were trying to build a big, beautiful church building, and this is how they decided to get the money for it. Like a fundraiser, but one that hurt people by lying and taking their money for the wrong reasons. They told people they couldn’t go to heaven unless they paid money.
 
Ask: What is heaven? (It is where you go when you die?) How do you think we are able to go to heaven? Is it from being really good? Is it from doing really good things? Is it from paying money?
 
Say: Let’s see what the Bible has to say about it.
 
 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (from John 3:16, NIV).
 
Ask: What does this verse say about how we have eternal life, or, go to heaven? (believing in God’s Son, Jesus).
 
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God, not by works so that no one can boast” (from Ephesians 2:8–9, NIV).
 
Ask: What do these verses say about how we are saved from our sins? (By grace) Who gives us this gift? (God) Can we do work or pay money to get into heaven? (No)
 
“I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father but through Me” (John 14:6, NIV).
 
Ask: Who is talking here? (Jesus) How do we come to the Father? (Through Jesus).
 
 
Martin Luther read the Bible and saw how important it was that people know they didn’t need to pay money to be forgiven of their sins and go to heaven. Jesus already died and rose again to make a way for us to go to heaven. He loves us so much, and Martin wanted people to know that.
 
So, he marched down to the church, and nailed a big document to the door with 95 Theses on it. “Theses” is a word that means questions or statements or arguments. He wrote 95 things he thought were bad choices by the church leaders.
 
Even though he was respectful in how he wrote the theses, the church leaders were not happy with him. He even had to hide for awhile because he thought they might hurt him. They wanted him to say he was wrong, but he knew he was doing the right thing.
 
Because of him, a bunch of new churches started and began to grow, and many people learned the truth about Jesus and His free gift of salvation. All the Protestant Christian churches today came from Martin Luther’s bravery so many years ago.
 
LOOK
Ask: Do you think it was hard for Martin to tell his leaders they were wrong? Have you ever had to do something that you knew was right, but it was really scary to do?
 
TOOK
Say: Martin loved God. Martin studied God’s word. Martin made the right choice to help other people know that Jesus died to save them, and they couldn’t try to pay their way into heaven.
 
How can you stand up for what is right? Maybe someone who is being bullied at school – how can you help them? Maybe someone is being mean – how can you help them to be kind? Who can we tell about Jesus this week?
 
Hand out the coloring sheet and crayons for coloring.
 
OR say: We are going to nail our own thesis to a board. Hand out a piece of paper and crayon/pencil to each person. Have them write one thing they will do that is right and good this week, and one person they will tell about Jesus this week, and nail it on the board. Keep it somewhere everyone can see it during the week.
 
Prayer: Jesus, thank you for dying for us and rising from the dead so that we can be saved from our sins if we believe in you. Thank you for brave Martin Luther who wanted people to know the truth about your salvation. Help me to tell someone about you this week, Jesus. In Your Name, Amen.
 
 
For further study:
History.com/topics/martin-luther-95-theses
Biography.com/martinluther
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Remembering Nana

10/12/2016

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Today was my Nana's funeral. She was an extraordinary woman and she is missed. Here is the eulogy I wrote for her service:
​Bennie Lenora Alexander was born on May 4, 1927 to Edgar and Edna in Roff, Oklahoma. She was the youngest of 9 children. She had one sister and seven brothers.
 
A constant companion in her life was Jack Dempsey Walker. Their families were extremely close, in fact, Bennie’s mother assisted in Jack’s birth. They were neighbors, schoolmates, and friends. Long after Jack & Bennie were married, Jack’s father married Bennie’s mother after their respective spouses had passed away.
 
As a child, Bennie adored her older sister Edna, and called her “Sis” her entire life. She also looked up to her sister-in-law Alene, wife of Paul, and felt so special when she handed down her clothes to her. They remained close throughout their lives.
 
Bennie was 16 and Jack 18 when Jack was drafted into the Army. The two were deeply in love, and Bennie’s parents gave them permission to marry because they knew Jack would be in the Pacific and Bennie could continue to live at home and finish high school. Sis told her she was “a little fool” to get married so young, but came through in the end by giving her a brand new dress for her wedding.
 
They married in the courthouse in Ada, Oklahoma, and spent the next two years apart while Jack served in the war.
 
During that time, Bennie would wait every day for mail from Jack. She would sneak out of a school window to dash to the Post Office looking for a letter from him, and received a “switching” once when she was caught.
 
Bennie worked at an ice cream shop during those years as well. She recalled being told to turn away any African-Americans who wanted to purchase ice cream. She felt the injustice of it, but as a young adult who needed to keep her job, she did not speak up.
 
She also tells of the time when she had a rare opportunity to ride a bike a friend had just received. As she was hopping on to the bike, her pastor and some ladies from the church scolded her and told her she wasn’t being proper, saying, “You can’t ride a bike in a dress!”
Beni said, “Watch me!” She wasn’t about to miss out, regardless of propriety.
 
Bennie was very outspoken and had a strong sense of justice. You always knew how she felt about something. I believe these early adulthood experiences shaped her into being a strong and confident woman who knew what was important in life.
 
After two years of service, Jack returned home. They decided to move to California to look for work.
 
They arrived in Southern California and stayed with Bennie’s brother Lyn for a time, living in his garage. Housing was scarce due to all of the men returning home after the war.
 
They eventually found an apartment in Long Beach, CA where Jack worked at Douglas Aircraft. He worked on the DC-9 and later became a mail carrier. Bennie worked in a sardine factory for a time for less than $1 an hour and remembers her hands constantly smelling like fish. She also worked at Sees Candy.
 
Bennie was a stay at home mom in the early years of Pam and Trudi’s lives. They eventually bought a home in Artesia, California, and lived there until they moved to Turlock. The family remembers many holidays and dinners in that house, with fun out on the patio playing Ping Pong, Janice Wagner and I playing restaurant, and watching TV in their sunken living room.
 
Bennie’s last and longest employment was with North American Rockwell in the printing department. She eventually gained classified status and worked on confidential documents pertaining to the Space Shuttle program. Brooke remembers all of the leftover colored paper she would bring home for me and Janice to draw and craft with.
 
During their girls’ growing up years Bennie worked full-time while she kept a spic and span house and sewed all of her girls’ clothes, including bridesmaids’ dresses for both Pam and Trudi’s weddings. Trudi has a special memory of Bennie staying up late for many nights sewing special baby doll clothes for their Christmas dolls as well as all of their holiday dresses.
 
Pam and Trudi remember Friday nights were for grocery shopping. Going to the very first McDonald’s for $.25 hamburgers was a rare treat. Saturdays were for house cleaning and laundry, including ringing out clothes through the ringer, line drying, starching and ironing.
 
Summer family vacations were always spent in Oklahoma to visit family. Food was packed and brought along, and they would stop for one night on their 3 day road trip because finances were tight.
 
Pam and Trudi remember a few other special trips camping and sleeping under the stars.
 
Pam has a fun memory of her mom being quite mischievous. One Halloween, they ran out of candy to hand out, so Bennie dressed herself and Pam up in sheets as ghosts, and went around the neighborhood trick or treating. One neighbor, a good friend saw her height and asked, “Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?” Bennie never gave herself away.
 
In 1976, Jack was attacked by a pit bull while on his postal route. His injuries were serious, and from that time on he was disabled and retired from full-time work. In a time where most women were homemakers, Bennie worked full-time while Jack cared for the home. He had a hot meal waiting for her each evening. Even though roles were reversed, this never seemed to be an issue for the two of them. They worked together through each part of life with much love, companionship, and symmetry.
 
In their empty nest years, they camped in their trailer, and were part of a square dancing club, which they enjoyed immensely and spent their weekends doing. They met many dear friends through that club and remained friends with several of them throughout the entire adult lives.
 
​Bennie retired, and they followed Phil and Trudi and Pam’s migration to Northern California in the early 80’s and settled in Turlock.
 
Bennie developed a talent and love for ceramics. She painted many beautiful Santas, Christmas trees, and had several boutiques selling her wares. Many friends and family still have her creations displayed in their homes. She made 35 cherubs for centerpieces for Brooke’s wedding.
 
In their 60’s Jack and Bennie decided they wanted a pool. Bennie had never learned to swim and was terrified of the water. Ever the courageous woman, she and the pool built and then hired a swim teacher and learned to swim.
 
Everyone knew Jack and Bennie were deeply in love. There never was another for either of them. Bennie lost Jack to Alzheimer’s in October 2005.
 
Kassi lovingly remembers Nana putting bananas on her Cheerios, bike rides with Nana and Papa on the Cal State Stanislaus campus, and Nana’s love for babies. She would tease Kassi that she was like the old lady in the shoe, with so many kids she didn’t know what to do.
 
The last decade of her life was spent with her girls, attending Berkeley Ave. Baptist church, serving on the prayer chain and attending Sunday School and Keenagers. She was voracious reader, and loved her grandchildren and great-children. She had some very special friends who lived in her neighborhood. She lived independently until pneumonia and then a broken hip required assisted care off and on during this last spring and summer. Even then, she was determined to go home. It was with pure will power that she recovered from her hip surgery in 7 weeks. She was home for a month on her own before she started to decline. After 9 days in the hospital she fell asleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus and Jack, the last of the Ed Alexander family to enter heaven.
 
She is survived by her daughter Pam Hoskins, Trudi Weerheim, who were with her every day of the last several years of her life, their husbands Bob Hoskins and Phil Weerheim, granddaughters, Kassi Van Vliet and husband Darren, myself and my husband Brent, and six great-grandchildren: Caleb, Annie, and Amie Boersma, Aubrie, Emma, and Noah Van Vliet.
 
Bennie was unapologetically, fully herself. There was no one like her. She loved the Lord, her husband, and her family fiercely.
 
She will be greatly missed, but there is no greater comfort than to know she was confident she would spend eternity in heaven because of her faith in Jesus Christ, her Savior. We sang “The Old Rugged Cross” today because it Papa’s favorite. It’s because of that cross and the empty tomb that we have hope to see both him and Nana someday. We are also singing “When the Roll is Called up Yonder”. Nana chose that song, which is so fitting. She knew who she was and was confident in where she was going. Death has no sting for those of us left behind because of this hope in Jesus.
 
Hers was a life well lived. We are grateful for her, and that she fell asleep peacefully, her roll being called to up yonder to her home in the skies.

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Remembering

9/19/2016

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​My Google calendar has “Prepare for meltdowns this week” on yearly repeat. This is what I saw when I woke up this morning.
 
Every year this week is the week from hell. Naughtiness, aggression, tears, screaming, nightmares. I started tracking it a few years ago, and it always happens, almost to the day.
 
Our girls have no concept of time yet, due to brain damage. We count upcoming events in “sleeps” because they don’t understand “tomorrow” or “next week.” But every cell in their bodies and the sweet little souls remember this week, without fail.
 
Six years ago our girls were living with a couple who were adopting them. In early October, that man beat them. Badly. And I wonder if the week leading up to that was like they were living in a pressure cooker, already afraid, already being hurt, building up to that last night where they ended up in the hospital, their lives changed forever. Again.
 
One of our girls woke up yesterday morning from a nightmare. The other woke up this morning and hid from me, and then cried uncontrollably for an hour.
 
They couldn’t put words to it, but I could. I know. I remember.
 
I held her and rocked her and told her to cry as much as she needed. And she let me. And then she asked to be alone. She cried and held her stuffed animals and cried some more. I cried for her.
 
I put words to her emotions. I told them that their bodies remember what happened to them, and they do, too. Their bad dreams actually happened to them.
 
And then I told them that will never happen again. Daddy and I will not let anyone hurt them like that ever again. We are a safe place for them. We will take care of them. And it was not ever, not once, their fault.
 
They needed to hear that their fears are valid. That their feelings come from somewhere important. They need me to remember for them.
 
I’ve heard people say, “I wish they could forget.” But their bodies can’t, and me pretending like it didn’t happen won’t help. They need to know why they feel the way they do and experience the grace and healing that can come from putting a name to the fear, the helpless feeling, the trauma.
 
Jesus always called disease what it was. He always called out people’s demons. He put a name to the bad stuff. He always called sin what it was, too. But then he offered healing, love, His presence right alongside of it. In the middle of it. In spite of it.
 
Each of us has something in our past that hurts. Or brings us shame. Maybe it’s been carried in secret all your life. Holding it in doesn’t make it go away. It’s okay to remember. It’s okay to give it a name. It loses some of its power when it’s called out.  It’s okay to name it and cry as long as you need to.
 
Jesus is here. He remembers. He heals. He loves.
 
We were late to school, and that’s alright.  We remembered together, and my daughter received a little bit of healing this morning.
 
Their daddy is taking time out of his busy harvest schedule to go hug them at lunch, and they’ll heal a little more.
 
And the Healer of all of our hearts is always there, He remembers, and He will give each of us what we need, thanks be to God.
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All Shall Be Well....

6/4/2016

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It’s the first week of summer. I remember that week as a child – the excitement of being out of school, sleeping in, swimming, and playing. The whole summer ahead felt like a lifetime of fun and sun and friends.
 
For one of my girls especially, the first week of summer is fraught with anxiety. I hear at least 10 times a day, “Is it a school day?”. When you have no concept of time, very little executive functioning abilities, and a routine schedule is what helps you keep it together, summer isn’t months full of endless possibilities for fun. Summer is this big unknown scary thing.
 
I’m still learning about my kids, still learning how to parent them well, and still learning why certain behaviors happen. Many parents of traumatized kids (especially those kids with other struggles such as FASD) dread summer. They feel all alone in their own anxiety because teachers and other parents don’t understand. They hear a lot of, “Well, they do fine here….”. I am so blessed because our kids’ educators do empathize. They know that they get the best of my kids (medication timed perfectly for the best possible focus and behavior at school), and that they keep their anxiety in check all day at school, holding themselves together, until they get home. That’s when they feel safer to allow the explosions, melt downs, and repeated questions to take over…or they just can’t hold it in anymore.
 
The last two days one of my littles has been following me around like a duckling. (I must say that part of that is over 5 years of training because I have to keep her with me to keep her from getting into trouble. I do so miss bathing and peeing without an audience.) I was starting to really get irritated with the kid on my heels asking the same questions over and over and over until it dawned on me that she is struggling with a huge amount of anxiety because she isn’t in her regular routine. Hence the getting up before 6am. Hence the whining. Hence the mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mama mama mama mama…..
 
I have a visual schedule she can follow, and that helps a bit, but our day at home with housework, errands, yard work, etc. is not as predictable as a day at school. And when the momming and questions were getting closer together and the following on my heels was getting as physically close as it could be without her tripping over me, it dawned on me that we just needed to sit together for a minute. Dinner was on the grill. A ton of things were going on. But I sat down with her, pulled her in my lap, wrapped her in a blanket and held her like an infant, looking into her eyes. (The fact that we could do this is major progress. She wouldn’t have allowed that a few years ago.)
 
I asked her if she was feeling worried or afraid. She said yes. So I told her that sometimes her brain tells her body the wrong message, to feel feelings that don’t fit for what is happening. I told her she was safe. I listed all the people that loved her. I told her we were all home together and staying home for the evening. I told her that everything would be okay. We talked about asking the Holy Spirit to bring her peace and to tell her brain that she is okay. We did our deep breaths.  I taught her a quote from Julian of Norwich I used to whisper to Andrew, a foster baby we had a number of years ago, hoping it would somehow stick with him as he left us, “All shall be well, and all shall be well. All manner of things shall be well.”
And the kid who has hardly played for the last several days because she couldn’t stay focused and couldn’t leave my side, relaxed, got a little teary, then got up and jumped in the pool and started pretending mermaids with her sister. Just like that.
 
After 17 years of parenting, I’m still learning. Learning that presence is powerful. We moms are busy with household tasks that never end, and many other responsibilities, but taking just a moment when our kids need it is crucial. I often don’t stop to do this – I get caught up in the million things I on my list and just “manage” what’s going on in the house rather than investing. Don’t get me wrong – our kids should need to learn that there is work to be done and Mom has responsibilities – but in the moments they need us, it is critical they know that they matter. And even more so for kids from trauma and hard places.
 
Dinner was a bit “crispy”. We had leftover veggies instead of fresh. And I had a girl that played mermaids in the pool and has slept in later than she has in over a week. 
 
"All shall be well, and all shall be well. All manner of things shall be well."
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I'll Still Shop at Target

4/22/2016

6 Comments

 
I’ll still shop at Target.

I probably won’t take my daughters into the bathroom, for safety reasons rather than transgender issues.

But I’m still shopping at Target. (Target will be glad, my husband not so much, based on the monthly credit card bill...).

I honestly am not writing this to one person, I’ve been home sick in bed for two days and I’ve seen the posts so many times, I don’t even remember who posted what.

I do know this. Christians have a lot to say about everything going on in our culture, and often our first response is to boycott. Don’t like public schools?  Don’t go. Don’t like Target’s bathroom policy? Stop shopping there.  And we are really good at complaining loudly on social media.  I am using the word “we” because I am including myself.  My first inclination is to stay away from something that makes me uncomfortable, or challenges me, or is contrary to what I believe.

But is that what God wants from us?  Boycotting as a first response?  Walking away? Getting angry? Marginalizing people?

When I look at Jesus’ life, I see Him condemning the churchy people, not the regular folks. He spent time with those who were different than Him. The woman at the well - she was a used and abused half-breed, living with a man out of wedlock, yet He sought her out to give her His Living Water. He defended the woman caught in adultery lying naked in the dust with a crowd of religious leaders ready to stone her, and pointed out that each of her condemners had their own sins. Paul, the murderer - Jesus redeemed him and made him an apostle. He made Mary the former prostitute an example of how to worship.  Matthew was the hated tax collector whom Jesus called friend. The list goes on. That list includes me, too.

It seems to me that Jesus made it a habit of going to the people who were different than Him. It seems to me that Jesus made it a habit of hanging out with them, loving them, healing them, bringing redemption, making whole the broken.

It was the religious folks, the ones with the biblical background following all the rules, pointing out all the wrongs whom he called a few unsavory names.  

This whole Target thing has bothered me because it has shown me how I judge, how much more I need Jesus to lead me in His way.

Each Christian needs to search Scripture in this, and in the words of Francis Schaeffer ask, “How then shall we live?”. But what I see in Jesus’ way is this: I think what He wants from us, the way we should live, is the way of love.  

I go to Target for the cute pillows and great prices, and the all in one shopping. But it can also be an opportunity (when my two monkeys are behaving) for me to chat with people in line, spread a little sunshine, and share God’s love.  We send our kids to public school because we believe God has called our family to share Jesus there (although we have been blessed by our public school way beyond anything we have done to deserve it).

If we don’t go to these places to tell people Jesus loves them, then how will they know?

Instead of expecting people, companies, agencies, and government programs to act like conservative Christians when they aren’t, maybe we should just be like Jesus and bring love, hope, and healing into these places.  Maybe that will bring greater change to a society than any boycott ever could?  

I am confident of this - Jesus always brings redemption. That’s His job and He’s good at it. And He called us to love and point people to Him.

And love always wins.  Always.

So, I’m going to Target this week.  To buy a few pillows, and to tell someone Jesus loves them.  Wanna join me?  Let’s go to one with a Starbucks.  I’ll buy you a coffee and maybe we’ll find someone who needs to hear that they are loved.
 

​
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Just a Regular Mom and Dad

4/14/2016

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Good parents strive to be the best for our kids. We work hard at loving them well.  We feed them the right foods, help with their school work, hold them when they are afraid.  Brent and I are both high achievers in life in general - Master’s degrees at 22 and 23 while working full-time, scholar athletes - you get the drift. We approach parenting with the same tenacity as any other thing in life.

Parenting two kids who have been through the foster care system has required a lot of hard work, and it’s own set of desired outcomes for two achievers like ourselves.  But the other night at the dinner table, when Amie told Brent he was a “Regular Dad” and me a “Regular Mom”, we were thrilled. It was the highest of compliments she could have paid.

The girls have been asking more questions about their birth parents and other experiences in foster care.  I have been quite honest with them about the situations in which they were placed, and what their lives were like before. One foster to adopt situation was especially traumatic for them, ending with the girls in the hospital, and the soon to be adoptive father in jail. One child still has nightmares about it.

That night at the dinner table, they were talking about different parents with whom they have lived. Amie said, “There was a dad who was bad. He’s in jail now. He can’t hurt us. And, we have a good dad now,” looking at Brent, “You’re a regular dad.” And then to me, “And you’re a regular mom.”

I nearly melted into a puddle of sappy tears. There is no award, no accolade, no title more desired by this high achieving couple than “Regular”. To Amie, “regular” means safe. It means security, a normal family, a haven for a home.

​We will wear our title of “Regular Parents” loud and proud. I can think of no higher calling.






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Woven Together:  Stories of the Nativity

12/12/2015

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I am so excited to announce that I have a devotional available for purchase!  My dear friend Lindsay Laswell is a talented artist, and has done beautiful illustrations.  "Woven Together: Stories of the Nativity" is a 10 day Advent devotional that will take you through the experiences of the shepherds, wise men, Mary and Joseph, the angels, and others as they witness of the birth of the Christ Child.  Lindsay and I pray that this will be a blessing to those who read it and study the Bible along with it.  20% of the proceeds from the little book will go to "Love All Our Kids", which is a ministry that brings awareness to the need for foster and adoptive families, as well as support for those who are adoptive and foster parents.  You can contact me if you'd like to purchase one.  The books are $12, shipping is usually $1.15.  I also have a Spotify playlist you can follow by the same name!  Merry Christmas to you, may you be one of the people that truly experiences the gift of the Messiah this December!

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Do Not Fear

11/18/2015

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The news headlines this week are horrific.  ISIS is coordinating attacks all over the world and threatening more.   People are mourning.  People are fighting over what to do with refugees.  People are afraid.

We all remember September 11.  A “post 9/11 world” is the only world our kids know.  No generation of American children has heard the phrase, “I just want to keep you safe” more than these kids.  
Fear defies logic, it can be consuming.  I know this because I lived a lot of my life being afraid. It wasn’t logical, I was safe in my home, but I was afraid to sleep alone as a child, afraid of the dark.  As an adult, being alone in the house at night was terrifying.  It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I made a declaration - out loud in the name of Jesus - that I would no longer be afraid, and fear left me.

Listening to all this news can provoke anxiety in any heart.  What do we do?  Do we stay home and hunker down?  Do we stop living in case we might - stop living?  Do we say no to refugees because we fear that a terrorist might be among them?  

ISIS wants us to be afraid.  Evil thrives on chaos, on fear, on power over someone they feel is inferior and weaker than them.  

But this is the Word of the Lord, friends.  “Do Not Fear.”  These words are spoken over 100 times in the Bible.*  Here are some from Isaiah:
Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)  For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

This is because God is on the throne.  He is in control of what seems like a chaotic and broken world.  We need not fear.  Those who love Jesus have the assurance that they will be with Him in heaven.  He is our strength, the Rock on which we stand.  No threat, no terrorist attack can change that.  

“I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of strength, of power, and of a sound mind.”  2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)

The Parisians on the streets with their signs saying “We Are Not Afraid” were making a statement to those who would do them harm.  They are joining together and that gives them courage.  Even more freedom from fear, even more courage and bravery can come from Jesus.

My favorite hymn is “It Is Well.”  Here is the story of its origins:
This hymn was written after traumatic events in Spafford's life. The first was the 1871 Great Chicago Fire, which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago that was extensively damaged by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873, at which time he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre. In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …". Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.[3]
Bliss called his tune Ville du Havre, from the name of the stricken vessel.[4]
The Spaffords later had three more children. On February 11, 1880, their son, Horatio Goertner Spafford, died at the age of four, of scarlet fever. Their daughters were Bertha Hedges Spafford (born March 24, 1878) and Grace Spafford (born January 18, 1881). Their Presbyterian church regarded their tragedy as divine punishment. In response, the Spaffords formed their own Messianic sect, dubbed "the Overcomers" by American press. In 1881, the Spaffords, including baby Bertha and newborn Grace, set sail for Ottoman-Turkish Palestine. The Spaffords settled in Jerusalem and helped found a group called the American Colony. Colony members, later joined by Swedish Christians, engaged in philanthropic work among the people of Jerusalem regardless of their religious affiliation and without proselytizing motives—thereby gaining the trust of the local Muslim, Jewish, and Christian communities. During and immediately after World War I, the American Colony played a critical role in supporting these communities through the great suffering and deprivations by running soup kitchens, hospitals, orphanages and other charitable ventures. The colony later became the subject of the Nobel prize-winning Jerusalem, by Swedish novelist Selma Lagerlöf.[3]**

In spite of tragic events, this man could say it was well with his soul.  And not only that, he allowed God to use his life to bring good to others.  To love, give, and serve no matter what the cost.

Be not afraid, my friends, and let it be well with your soul.  And then pray.  Jesus has come so that we might “have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10).  If you haven’t given your life to Him, talk to him and ask Him to be Lord your life - confess your sins, ask Him for forgiveness, and let Him bring you new life through His saving power.  He through His Holy Spirit can bring you the peace that you need, the freedom from fear, the confidence that you will live with Him in eternity.  If the Lord is the stronghold of your life, of whom shall you be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)  

And then, let’s pray for ISIS.  Let’s pray for the victims of these terrible acts. Let’s pray for peace.  Pray for wisdom and what God is calling you to do, and how He would handle this refugee crisis.   

​I am praying that we all keep living and caring and giving, and that our nation would love as Jesus says to love, because “perfect love casts out fear.”  (I John 4:18).



*www.musingsofaministerswife.com
**www.wikipedia.com
All Scripture was taken from www.biblegateway.com and is the New International Version
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    Brooke Boersma is barely keeping it together.  Her days include cooking from scratch, exercising with her favorite fitness group, keeping her two (adorable and amazing and special needs) adopted daughters from clobbering each other, and preparing her teenage son for manhood, while updating their home, (sort of) staying on top of the laundry, and enjoying a few stolen moments with her almond farmer husband.  She likes to run, read, soak in the sun, and daydreams about everyone sleeping through the night.  She leans heavily on Jesus, coffee, and the occasional pomegranate martini.  Her life is extra grace required.  If given a do-over, she wouldn’t change a thing.

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